It seems like lately at every turn, someone or something is always trying to hurry us along. Whether it’s the people in your life, deadlines, or even imaginary deadlines and pressures we place on ourselves. This extra stress can cause us to focus more on the task, and less on nurturing ourselves in the times we need it most. In moments when you want to feel the most self-assured and confident, it starts with YOU.
As a black woman in the science field, I definitely feel the pressure in the workplace. Being an immigrant, a minority and a woman in my field has always made me feel like I had to do double the work in half the time and shine the brightest to get even some credibility. I’ve found myself comparing my abilities and knowledge to my white peers and picking apart situations when I felt I had been side-lined or not taken seriously.
These dominating thoughts made me second-guess my confidence in my knowledge and skills that had helped me make strides in my career. Irrational thoughts and fears were creeping up, taking over, and causing me to not be myself. Have you ever rushed to learn, without truly understanding? Not asking questions because of the fear of looking stupid? Feeling intimidated by others who you think have more knowledge and skill than you and feeling the need to constantly prove yourself? These irrational thoughts made me feel so insecure and even worse, I now was a slave to the expectations and timetables of peers, instead of letting my own intuition guide me. Which left me with nothing but feelings of anxiety and insecurity.
This has worked so well for me! You can practice daily self-love training for your mind (see here) by shaking off the expectations of others or unrealistic expectations for yourself, and running your life on your own terms. People (and even ourselves!) are always going to try to rush you, criticize you, and even tell you “better” ways to do something. Make you feel like somehow you aren’t doing enough or don’t know enough. But all that matters is what is best for YOU. Make the choice to not internalize it and not turn it into something negative about you. You have all the power and control in deciding that other’s opinions bear no weight in your life.
So I ask you all to challenge yourself. Next time you feel like you’re being pushed past your own pace or direction, be aware that that is your intuition trying to get your attention! Realign your thoughts and what your intuition is asking for. Be patient with yourself and give yourself the time and space to get there. Remember there is no “right” way to do anything in life. Only how YOU go about it matters.
You have to be your own biggest cheerleader! Remind yourself that you are always capable and confident. The more you feed your intuitive voice, the stronger it gets. Pretty soon, your inner voice will be louder than all of the naysayers, and that is the goal!
Whether it’s with your exercise regimen, learning a new skill, or failing at something a few times and not having the motivation to try again, remember that patience is resilience. You WILL get there. The only way to ensure failure is to never attempt it again. And with each day you wake up, you get another chance to try.
So keep trying!
As for myself, I find myself in a similar position, as life does, right? In a new position, I’m getting another chance to practice self-love through practicing being patient with myself, especially when learning something new. Letting myself ask one more question when I’m unsure. Going at my own pace, regardless of my surroundings. Slowing DOWN.
Just take a second to ask yourself what it is that you need to confidently move forward are the small, but impactful ways we can look towards ourselves for the answers, instead of others. We have all that we need within ourselves and everything else is just a distraction. Chatter. Noise! You hold all your capabilities within, and by training yourself to provide yourself with all the patience and approval you need, you won’t have to go far for what your intuition calls for.
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